Dulcinea and The Death Code Read online

  To ask and answer “why?”

  To bring meaning into existence

  by the way we live our lives

  To fight

  To change

  To accept

  To forgive

  And to love.

  My vision is hidden between the pages of this story.

  We can’t travel to the past to change the future, but here and now, we can still go back to my kitchen in the month of August, 2018. The year when we had to say goodbye to Sumter, because professor Whiteland, my father, got a promotion to the new BFF department in Sweden, Europe. We were promised a much bigger house and a fat salary: double salary, actually. Frankly, I hated the idea of moving to another place. Having to learn a new language again? No, thanks. To attend BFF weekend-school and meet new super-friends? Let me rather die. But who was I to decide? I was only a child. The one soon to be without the oatmeal…

  Time to talk about the most extraordinary event in the history of the Universe. Spoiler alert: Death is a big mess, and it is living among us.

  2. No Guilt

  August, 2018.

  Two voices whispered in the darkness of the hall of the famous Bio Future Foundation (BFF) Institute.

  “I can’t believe it. I found Peter and Thomas dead in their lab,” one of the voices said, while shaking and out of breath.

  “Impossible. What happened? Have you called the ambulance? Why?” asked Mr. Blench, the Head of American Division of BFF.

  “Yes, I did. I don’t know, I just found them on the floor. Cold bodies. I mean I spoke to the guys two hours ago, and now they are gone. Gooone!” His voice cracked in distress.

  “Did they have any visitors? Anything strange?” Mr. Blench demanded.

  “Nothing. Just Alex, and his daughter with a friend. What? Why are you looking at me like that? Do you think Dulcinea could have killed them? No. I met them outside and I heard the voices from the lab, so the guys were still alive at that moment.”

  “Did you call the police? Did you?” Mr. Blench shook the man twice before he got the answer.

  “Yes! Of course! We have two cold bodies at the lab…”

  “I just want to know how we’ll represent all this to the press, especially now, when Alex is leaving us.”

  “How do I know? You are the boss!”

  “Are they still in the building - Alex and Dulcinea?”

  The white-faced scientist nodded.

  “Find and bring them to my office. And do not talk to anyone. We have to create an official story for the media.”

  That’s how it all began: two scientists died in the BFF-lab and I was the last person to see them alive. No, I didn’t kill them. I hope I didn’t. But I knew they would die.

  I never disturbed my dad when he was working. I don’t know the exact title of his last BFF-project, but I think it has something to do with rebirth of the matter. I hugged my hot coffee mug on the way to his office. “Hey Dad, here is a coffee delivery from your daughter. Called Hugged Mug,” I’d say to him.

  Two more steps. I opened the door to the room. My dad stood near the window, nervously playing with the wood-panel while speaking on the phone. The white curtains were linen, the kind of white that is untouched by hands and devoid of dust. There were three chairs arranged around the fireplace and the couch near the wall. Photographs on the desk were mostly a few casual family snaps. The floor was a polished dark wood, full of official papers and strange crumpled notes scattered everywhere in the room. My father frowned.

  “Of course, I’m sure it isn’t cautious. She is fine, as always.”

  Pause.

  “Yes, I appreciate everything you are doing to keep the trash-dogs far from my family.”

  Pause.

  “She has never been dangerous, you know that. I’m sharing with you all the progress we make. Just imagine how difficult it is without knowing what we are dealing with.”

  Pause.

  “Yes, I’m studying her abilities. I do. No, I don’t want to make any experimental tests. She’s still a child. I know, we don’t have a lot of time, but I promise I’ll do my best to keep it under control. Ok, we’ll see if it changes when we arrive in Sweden. And thank you again, Sir.”

  Alexander Whiteland is an exceptional man. He knows absolutely everything. But even he, the mightiest (in the eyes of other scientists), doesn’t know shit about his own daughter.

  “Come in, Dull, I can feel you are standing behind the door.” His tired eyes lit up with love.

  “How do you know? You don’t have any magical eyes on the back of your head. Here is your coffee,” I sat and looked at his table, paper-loaded and dusty. The sun started to play its games again. Rays of brightness cast squares and stars onto the chaos on the floor, reflecting off several objects in the room. I blinked a few times, in an attempt to adjust my eyes to the illumination.

  “Am I special?” I asked.

  “You know you are.”

  “Do I have superpowers?”

  He burst into laughter. I didn’t expect him to laugh so loudly. The small photographs trembled in astonishment.

  “No. I don’t think so. Why? Would you like to have superpowers?”

  “Of course. I’d save people.”

  “From?”

  “From themselves.”

  “There’s only one super power for that. It is called Kindness and Compassion.”

  “You can’t erase bad people with that power…”

  “Erase? I thought you wanted to save humanity, Dulcinea.”

  “Yes, but sometimes if we want to save - we have to destroy. You’ve taught me that.”

  “That’s an interesting thought for a 14-year-old girl.”

  “Yeah, write it down for your research book.” I smiled.

  “You can’t destroy for “a good cause” and expect love, kindness, and appreciation in return. When people are hurt - they hurt back. Not because they want to, but because rage and hatred fill all the small spaces in their hearts; and all the light… vanishes.”

  “I don’t hate anyone. And I don’t want to hurt people.”

  “I know.”

  His voice didn’t convince me.

  On the way outside I added, “I didn’t kill them. Probably their time has ended.”

  “Time is not a school term, Dulcinea. Not when people are dying. And how did you know? How could you possibly know?”

  “Maybe I can because I’m not living inside of an illusion, dad.”

  “Mary, please…”

  The name of my mother. Why was he doing that to me? I ran upstairs. “Get your mind together,” I said to the reflection in the mirror. “Stay objective and logical. Stay cold. Deal with the facts. Deal with this mad world. You didn’t kill anyone. You just knew that they’d die. Those are two very different things, Dulcinea…”

  I opened my laptop: there were zero messages from zero people who will miss me. Between “we’ll never miss you” and “let’s hang out in your house, just as we always do,” I found the email from my psychologist, Mrs. Alton:

  Here are a few guidelines that might help you to settle down in a new place, Dulcinea. I’d like to know about your arrival though, and I already contacted your therapist in Sweden, Mr. Greg Slutman. He’ll get all the details of our conversations over the past two years. Good luck in Europe.

  I put headphones on and scrolled through my music playlist, picked a Coldplay album and listened for an hour, maybe more: a regular Saturday in the home of a typical, loving, modern family.

  I called Jess after the sunset and we decided to meet at Starbucks the following afternoon - a perfect place for goodbyes and scientific chats. “Bring vanilla and choco-latte!”

  And let me kiss you, sister. For the last time.

  3. Two Old Girls

  Starbucks, the place where all gossips, farewells, greetings, new comings, and in general everything happens. Without Starbucks, the life of a teenager would be completely empty: at least here, in Sumter. Who doesn’t lo
ve the banging pop music and the buzz of voices from all over town?

  My usual order waited in the middle of the longest table, created from four smaller ones. A cloud of doubt hovered over me, because, honestly, I didn’t think I had so many friends that I needed four tables. “Deep breaths,” I told myself. “Look happy, Dulcinea. You are surrounded by the hands and the eyes of people who might actually care about you.” A sense of unease crept over me. Seeing all those smiling faces, telling me things I don’t want to hear is entirely exhausting. But I’m smiling right back, because Jess is here too, and that means I can survive any awkward moment.

  “Look around you! We are all here to say goodbye!” Liz said to me as I passed her table.

  “Even meeee! You gonna miss me, Dull.” Leon gave me a wink.

  “She’s going to find a blonde, strong Viking and forget about your existence, Leon! Haha…”

  And here it was, the song:

  I’m an ocean in your bedroom

  Make you feel warm

  Make you want to re-assume

  Now we know it all for sure…

  Jess sipped on her latte while texting on the phone and at the same time asking me:

  “Spoke with your dad?”

  “Yeah. He told me there’s nothing wrong with me and I don’t have any superhero powers. I’d like to…”

  “But you are special, Di. Your dad knows that. Remember Kaitlin’s cats? You wrote the date and the time they’d die, and it happened. You can predict death. That’s freakin’ awesome!”

  “No. I don’t want to predict death. You just made me look like the most frightening human alive: Dulcinea Lovinescu - sucking souls out of poor cats, kids, and old ladies.” I tried to joke, but I could feel my heart doing flip-flops.

  Jess rolled her eyes and continued texting. I sipped on my drink.

  We were silent in the Starbucks, which continued its noisy turbulence. I focused on the song, watching each atom of air form into a snake behind Jess’s hair. I waited for her to speak. Even my best friend couldn’t understand how scared I am, because everywhere I go death is following me. Am I a destroyer? Am I a bad person? What if I’m killing people by just breathing the same air?

  “What about the voices?’ Her cheeks were flushed from the heat of her latte. I looked down the tables: Leon was teasing the twins, Grace and Angie. He wrapped his long arms around them and swung from left to right. They threw their heads back in laughter. Of course, they did. They felt safe. They felt happy.

  “I’m hearing the sound, not a voice. And very seldom. It has nothing to do with those deaths. It is some kind of the air-dissonance.” Nothing seemed safe anymore – what would the world and my life be like without the sound?

  “Okay. But did you show your dad that ‘glowing crack’ behind the house… The one you noticed in your backyard? What did he say about that?”

  “Nothing. He said he doesn’t see anything. Just like you. My blind sheep!” I teased and hugged her tightly. A part of me wanted to stop the painful conversation, but the other part - already missed her. It hit me that after tomorrow I’d never see her again. My Jess! We’ll never feed our birds or drink our vanilla latte at Starbucks again… I wanted to remember this moment forever.

  “I’m going to miss you, Jess,” I told her.

  She took my hand and squeezed it tightly: “Me too. But we can video chat, and text, or even go old fashioned and call once in a while.” She gave me a wide smile. I would miss that smile. Jess was really the only friend I had, and now I was losing her. Moving sucks.

  “One more latte for our lovely cupcakes?” Leon interrupted our chat and grabbed my hand.

  “Let’s move! Everybody, listen up! We are moving to Richmonds park for a picnic!” the twin sisters shouted on the way out. They led the crowd with a loud cheer. There’s a confidence in them, one that I never had. I tried to force myself and follow them, but I couldn’t seem to sync my sound with the song of their happy hearts…

  How many things does a girl need? Too many? Wrong answer. A girl needs everything at her service because a girl is a queen - that was the message I got from Kaitlin while packing my silly, boring stuff into large cardboard boxes. I found a teddy bear from the time I lived in Romania. Kaitlin reached over and gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

  “Leave it here,” she said.

  The bed - the room - the last moon.

  Goodbye, Sumter!

  Goodbye, South Carolina!

  You’ve been a good teacher for this confused child!

  4. And Then Comes Sweden…

  “The best time of the year. For a murder.” My stepmom looked at me. I saw indignation in her eyes. Understandable. Sweden met us with a heavy rain.

  Our street was only a ten minute walk from the city center, Vasteras, and the house was very white on the inside and outside.

  “Very clean,” my brother said, while running up and down the stairs.

  “For how long?” Dad muttered to himself, checking his new office.

  The worst thing about arriving is the unpacking: when you pack your box or bag you can easily throw things in, and maybe even run over to a neighbor for a chat or two, but with unpacking you have to be very careful. Careful takes time. A lot of time. I don’t have time - I feel it running out of me. I want to scream: “Please God, if you exist, stop the time, stop the world, stop me from growing up.” I don’t want to get old or smart, or wise. I don’t want to be like Kaitlin or my Dad, or Mrs. Alton.

  I looked out of my window. The glowing ‘hell’ was there. It had traveled with me. Sometimes our karma follows us wherever we go. What if that crack of light has been made to follow and destroy me? Or maybe to eat me up? Nom! “The Taste of Dulcinea” – what a great title for a book!

  “It’s getting dark, we’ll continue unpacking tomorrow, guys. Time for dinner and bed.” Dad’s voice brought me back to reality.

  “I want a tale after dinner,” I said.

  “Aren’t you too old for fairytales? Besides, I think we’re all exhausted,” Kaitlin said dramatically, throwing herself on the couch.

  I looked at Dad. He shrugged. “We can have one tale before bed.”

  At dinner, we sat around our new white table.

  In the new white room.

  Inside the new white house.

  Kaitlin worried about the government, license for her business, about war, taxes and debts, New Year, and even Valentine’s Day. It occurred to me that without her small doubts, chats and heavy emotional cries we’d eclipse from reality. I wondered what life without Kaitlin would look like, but Dad interrupted my thoughts.

  “Are you ready for the story?” he asked. We gathered around him in the living room and he began:

  Once upon a time, a young girl named Kali discovered a house that she had never come across before. The house was in the middle of the Earth. Kali went into the house, struggling with the hot waves of the sunlight. And… she saw a beautiful woman inside. That woman was the Earth’s Mother. She explained to Kali that she had to leave and asked the girl to take charge of the place during her absence.

  “My favorite tale,” I teased, winking at Adam.

  “Dad never told it before,” he said.

  “I know,” I laughed. “Ok, ok, shhhh! Continue.”

  Before leaving she warned Kali: “Keep the room in the middle of the house warm and do not go outside. Wait until I get back.” But Kali didn’t listen and went outside. She forgot about everything that the beautiful woman said to her. She went further and further, far from the center of the Earth. Suddenly she found herself alone on a grey, empty field.

  The house

  The Earth,

  The woman,

  The beautiful forest…

  Everything had disappeared. Kali wanted to run, but she couldn’t. She transformed into a mud snail. A snail with an aura of Sadness. She was standing in the middle of nowhere, grieving about everything she lost, patiently waiting to be saved.

  “I’d say, learn
the forest orientation, Kali. That’s the Key,” said Adam.

  “Did she come back? The woman?” Even Kaitlin had listened.

  “I bet she did. Although she felt anger, she took no revenge on the girl, but simply revealed her true nature,” explained my dad.

  “Kali deserved it, she broke a promise,” I said. “It’s tragic, but in the end, nature returns to nature. I believe one day Kali will transform from a mud snail into a beautiful… fish? Ha ha.” I opened my mouth, imitating fish. Adam started to laugh.

  “It’s impossible to truly grasp the reality of nature, Dulcinea, because it does not like its true form to be understood,” Dad said. He seemed to enjoy the conversation.

  “Maybe it is impossible because people rarely make a serious or active approach to understand,” I said. “All we do is define, sort out, hunt, break, kill.”

  “Let’s hope for a happy ending next time. It’s bed time.” Kaitlin took Adam’s hand. She got bored.

  “Too early for me. I’m going to chat with Jess. Good night and … Keep your eyes open, Adam, because Kali’s gonna get you someday. Oooo-hooooo-hooooo!” I taunted him and ran upstairs.

  “You should be number one on her list,” shouted my brother to my retreating back.

  It is difficult to understand the real character of nature. Nature is the Absolute Beauty, we are usually saying, but we forget to mention that there are two kinds of beauty: one is light or visual, and the other is dark or emotional.

  Do not mess with the Earth’s emotions, humans!

  I am a wild thing

  (Dulcinea)

  The world - doesn’t notice,

  The people - doesn’t care,

  And me - doesn’t tell…

  All my life I’ve had this feeling,